I find myself completely dumbfounded by the contradictions between chapter 1 and chapter 2 in the Holy Bible. In order to prevent similar contradictions, I am required to restore the chronological order of the story in the Logical Bible.
LOGICAL BIBLE
Genesis Chapter 2:
AFTER Physics created the Universe and the Earth, and AFTER shrubs of the field had appeared on the earth and many plants of the field had sprung up, for evaporation and condensation had sent rain on the earth and streams flowed throughout many lands-- mutations and natural selection of the parents formed the first humans from early hominids, and they inhaled into their nostrils oxygenated air and were, as such, living beings.
Now, the early humans planted a garden and there they put themselves. And from the garden, Physics made all kinds of trees grow out of the ground-- trees that were pleasing to the eye and good for food. In the middle of the garden was the potential for free thought.
A river flowed near the garden and was formed by other rivers, each with a name resembling a primitive grunt and/or gesture. The (grunt) river winds through the entire land of (grunt-grr). The (grr-grunt) river winds through the entire land of (hard grunt). The name of another river is (soft grunt); it runs along the east side of (loud grunt).
The humans were intelligent enough to put themselves in the garden and to work it and take care of it. The early (and later) humans were stubborn and frightened by free thinkers.
The humans were probably promiscuous, and as such, were seldom alone. Females were born from other hominids.
Now humans learned to domesticate all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. The humans brought them and named them; and whatever humans called each living creature, that was its name. So humans gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beast of the field.
Humans were hormonally and physically driven to have sex, thereby the sperm of the man fertilized the egg of the woman and from that created:
“The DNA of their DNA
and the traits of their traits;
(if it is a girl) she shall be called woman,
for male dominate societies didn't want to feel insecure”
For this reason, the trait-favored males and females will leave their fathers and mothers and have sex.
The men and women were naked, and they were cold.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Thursday, January 20, 2011
The Logical Bible: Genesis, Chapter 1
Preface: This 'bible' is a compilation of knowledge that is either, proven fact or the latest theory which holds the most scientific backing. As such, this bible is entirely open to debate and revision as new facts and discoveries are uncovered. The part of a god, in this writing, will be played by Physics, and, for the sake of entertainment, will be personified. After all, Physics can be merciless and rewarding, seemingly all-powerful and everywhere, and the reality of which cannot be doubted without doubting reality itself.
LOGICAL BIBLE
Genesis Chapter 1:
In the beginning, Physics unleashed four dimensions from the seeming emptiness, and so the universe, matter and energy was created. Physics existed in everything and, as such, from the chaos galaxies formed.
Within the galaxies, Physics pulled the hydrogen from the expanses and created pressure until, alas, there was photon radiation. Photons emitted from the stars as light, then were absorbed or reflected by other matter, so there was dark. Physics created this, and so it was natural.
From the hydrogen within the stars Physics formed all other matter and released it throughout the universe in monumental explosions. After eight billion years It drew the heavy matter together around one star and thus, earth was created. Out-gassing separated the expanse of the universe from the earth below. Physics rotated the the earth and there was mornings and there was evenings.
Over millions of years, comets crashed into the earth and thawed, and so there were waters. Let the heats from the core move tectonic plates on earth and gather all the dry grounds into land, and gather waters into seas. And Physics created this, and so it was natural.
Then Physics pulled interstellar sugars from the expanse that was the universe, and coalesced them in the seas to form single-celled life. The life mutated and separated into many kinds and those kinds choose the best of those kinds until algae invaded the lands and became trees and vegetation (though plants bearing seeds and fruits were still millions of years away). And it was natural. And there were evenings and mornings and 5 billion years had passed.
Physics placed a tilt upon the earth and all the lands and all the seas were affected by seasons. One can stand upon the land and look upon the expanse and see stars in the dark, light from the sun, and sunlight reflect from the moon. And from the skies, one can know the seasons. The day and night was separated by the light from the sun, and the shadow from the earth. And Physics created this, and so it was natural. And there were mornings and there were evenings, and all continued as it had.
The single-celled life created, not only plants, but all living creatures. Some creatures favored traits that allowed flight and some creatures favored traits that allowed great size in the seas, but all within their kind, which continued to become other kinds or become extinct. And it was natural. Physics endowed creatures with the urge to be fruitful and increase in number, and so creatures great and small filled the water in the seas, and the skies. And there were mornings and evenings and several hundred million years had passed.
Creatures filled, not only the seas and the skies, but also the lands, each according to their kinds. Each of their kinds became many kinds or became extinct according to their traits. And Physics created this, and so it was natural.
Then life continued to mutate and evolve and become extinct until natural selection favored intelligence to dominate all other life.
So humans evolved as males and females and were fruitful and increased in number, filling the earth and subduing it. Humans ruled the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moved on the ground.
Then humans took every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it, and they took it all for themselves. All the beasts of the earth and all the birds of the air and all creatures that move on the ground took every plant, and each other, and humans, for food. And it was so.
Over thirteen billion years Physics created all there was, all there is, and all there will be, and it is all natural.
Physics never rest.
LOGICAL BIBLE
Genesis Chapter 1:
In the beginning, Physics unleashed four dimensions from the seeming emptiness, and so the universe, matter and energy was created. Physics existed in everything and, as such, from the chaos galaxies formed.
Within the galaxies, Physics pulled the hydrogen from the expanses and created pressure until, alas, there was photon radiation. Photons emitted from the stars as light, then were absorbed or reflected by other matter, so there was dark. Physics created this, and so it was natural.
From the hydrogen within the stars Physics formed all other matter and released it throughout the universe in monumental explosions. After eight billion years It drew the heavy matter together around one star and thus, earth was created. Out-gassing separated the expanse of the universe from the earth below. Physics rotated the the earth and there was mornings and there was evenings.
Over millions of years, comets crashed into the earth and thawed, and so there were waters. Let the heats from the core move tectonic plates on earth and gather all the dry grounds into land, and gather waters into seas. And Physics created this, and so it was natural.
Then Physics pulled interstellar sugars from the expanse that was the universe, and coalesced them in the seas to form single-celled life. The life mutated and separated into many kinds and those kinds choose the best of those kinds until algae invaded the lands and became trees and vegetation (though plants bearing seeds and fruits were still millions of years away). And it was natural. And there were evenings and mornings and 5 billion years had passed.
Physics placed a tilt upon the earth and all the lands and all the seas were affected by seasons. One can stand upon the land and look upon the expanse and see stars in the dark, light from the sun, and sunlight reflect from the moon. And from the skies, one can know the seasons. The day and night was separated by the light from the sun, and the shadow from the earth. And Physics created this, and so it was natural. And there were mornings and there were evenings, and all continued as it had.
The single-celled life created, not only plants, but all living creatures. Some creatures favored traits that allowed flight and some creatures favored traits that allowed great size in the seas, but all within their kind, which continued to become other kinds or become extinct. And it was natural. Physics endowed creatures with the urge to be fruitful and increase in number, and so creatures great and small filled the water in the seas, and the skies. And there were mornings and evenings and several hundred million years had passed.
Creatures filled, not only the seas and the skies, but also the lands, each according to their kinds. Each of their kinds became many kinds or became extinct according to their traits. And Physics created this, and so it was natural.
Then life continued to mutate and evolve and become extinct until natural selection favored intelligence to dominate all other life.
So humans evolved as males and females and were fruitful and increased in number, filling the earth and subduing it. Humans ruled the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moved on the ground.
Then humans took every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it, and they took it all for themselves. All the beasts of the earth and all the birds of the air and all creatures that move on the ground took every plant, and each other, and humans, for food. And it was so.
Over thirteen billion years Physics created all there was, all there is, and all there will be, and it is all natural.
Physics never rest.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)